Nine

So many people have asked me what is going on with the adoption because they haven't seen a blog post in a while. And my first thought was, "Wow, I can't believe people are actually reading this thing." 

Right now there's not a whole lot to tell in terms of the adoption. So much of this process is just waiting. In two weeks we will have a meeting with the social worker that has been assigned to our case. We will drive down to the agency in Cherry Hill, NJ and I believe our meeting will just be about answering our questions and finding out what we're supposed to do next. Several people have told me that they've heard that adopting a baby is a very complicated process. And while I can't speak for international adoption or adopting through the foster care system, I can definitely say that adopting domestically through an agency actually isn't all that complicated. It's a lot of work, it takes a long time, and it's expensive, but it's not all that complicated. The agency we're working with is so great because they really guide you through every step. They tell you what to do, you do it, then you wait, then they tell you what to do next. So it's time consuming, but it's relatively straight forward.

Khai has a new friend at school who is adopted. We'll call him Alex, which is not his name.  This afternoon I was chatting with Alex's mom while the boys played. Early on in the conversation we figured out that we both lived in Austin years back. She told me that Alex was born in Austin. Alex heard this and turned to me and asked, "Where was Khai born?" I told him that Khai was born in the bedroom of our house in Maplewood. Alex then said, "But where did he come from?" I immediately knew what he was asking and I said, "He grew in my belly." Alex's mom jumped in and said, "Sam is Khai's birth mom." Alex said, "Oh," and went back to playing.

This exchange was really good for me to see. I liked having a 5-year old boy ask me where my son came from, as though that's a typical question to ask. I liked how clearly and easily his mom said that I am Khai's birth mom. And I loved seeing a young boy who knows he is adopted and feels comfortable talking about it so openly. Alex's parents have obviously done a lot to normalize his experience, and it shows. That's definitely how I want to do it.

I told Alex's mom that we are in the process of adopting a baby and she told me that there is a huge group of trans-racial adoptive families around here. She told me it's a wide community and she'd be happy to introduce me to people. I told her that right now I need to focus on actually getting the baby, but once he or she is here I can't wait to be a part of that group. I had no idea it was here.

So that's it for now. We're in one of the many waiting periods we will go through. I'm anxious to get going because I generally don't like waiting, but I need to find peace with it because until our baby arrives, we're going to be doing a lot of it.